discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize