I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
