so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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