She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
