I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
