My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
