i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
