I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
