You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
