My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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