Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
