i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.