hotel room ftw
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.