Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man