bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
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If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?