goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
