i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
