I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
