i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
