I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
