on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
