there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
