Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
