Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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