I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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