Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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