I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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