He asked to "fluff my boner.."
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize