On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
