I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
