So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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