Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
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I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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