I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
