I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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