just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
