so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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