I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize