I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
