I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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