There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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