I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
