I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
