we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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