Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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