Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
