you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize