somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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