I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
