Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Randomize