If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
