I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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