Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
