Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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