Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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