Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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