i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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