my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he thought i was a dude.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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