Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
