you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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