Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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