I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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