he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
