fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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