Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
