I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
