there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
