Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
