the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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