I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
