found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
