i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
