'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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