i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
