It was confusing and full of hummus
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
